I am back on the blog after quite a long time but with the best news, our daughter Luyana was born on the 6th of June (5:45pm), 21 days before my due date. She was 3,070kg and 50cm.

The delivery was not (that) bad I guess. My water broke at 4:30am on Saturday and we were at the hospital around 5:00. We haven’t sleep much the night before but with the excitement we were crazy and so impatient. BUT, first check up and I was dilated 2cm only. And after 8 hours of contractions in my back, I was only at 3cm (she took her time, I bet she got that from her father aha).

I said I didn’t want an epidural, I could do without. I was CONVINCED I could. But I tell you, after 8 hours of major contractions for 1 cm of dilatation, you see the epidural as a gift from God. Y’all who said it is not painful, I tell you, I did not like it at all. It was painful, especially the local anesthesia. A week later I still have pain where he put the needle.

That being said, the anesthesiologist was pretty nice and the epidural was well balanced so that in 5 minutes I was not in pain anymore but I could really feel the contractions. I could move my legs but it felt like they were 1000kg each so I had hard time lifting them up. I think I got the epidural around 2pm. But as my cervix was not really cooperative, they gave me some ocytocine to help.

At 5:30pm, the midwives came and in 10 minutes and a few pushes, my baby was on my belly (and I cried a lot. Because she is too beautiful). I got a little tear so I had 2 stitches and then we waited to go back in our room.

That didn’t happen and that is where it become difficult. I was continuously bleeding. A lot of blood. The midwifes pushed on my belly with her two hands and the blood just spewed out of me (it felt like we were in a bad movie). They thought I was having an hemorrhage so they gave me a medicine that help the uterus to contract. I was shaking like crazy. Conclusion, I bled for another 2 hours. My blood pressure was very very low and my husband was about to faint I guess. I thought I was going to die.

This is where an other doctor appear, two hours later, she checked everything and said « there is a little tear that hasn’t been stitched, that is the problem ». The epidural is not effective anymore and she’s like « I am going to stitch that now, it will be quick I promise ». What ? Without anesthesia ? I freaked out and started to cry because I knew this was going to be painful. And it was. I think my husband’s hand will remember the pain. But I survived. Do you believe that ?

After bleeding that much, I was extremely tired. We got back in our room around 10pm. They kinda forced us to let our little girl to the nurses for the night because I was too wrecked. I couldn’t sit or get up due to the stitches. That was hard.

I woke up next day thinking I won’t have any other children. NEVER. I just felt like a herd of hippos ran over me. I was so sore. Everywhere. Giving birth is not all about butterflies and unicorns, really. The following days are here for you to remember that. So I got 4 stitches, an enormous edema and an hematoma on the perineum (but not episiotomy, which I am thankful for).

We got home on Wednesday with our little bundle of joy. I breastfeed her for now and it is going pretty good but it is painful. I got my little postpartum baby blues and now it is going better.

I’ll see you soon, my baby needs to be fed !